I bet he comes in French.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
