There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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