you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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