My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
