I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
