i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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