Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
