So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
