Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
