Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
this hospital has no fireball
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
