Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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