It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
