garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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