he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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