i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
