you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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