So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
