Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
