How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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