I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
