Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
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