Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
