we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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