its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
