We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
