I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just pee around me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
