I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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