And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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