I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
