She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
