i can't believe i had my finger in that
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
