Moan for me like Helen Keller
He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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