What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
