well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
