:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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