I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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