There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
