Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
