Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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