just come out here and I will go home with you...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
