I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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