I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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