With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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