Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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