Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
