Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize