I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
