We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
