Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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