Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
